Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Rewatch: S1E15 “Yes Men”

I do not like this episode.  This may be my least favorite episode of the series. However, I hated it so much after the first watch that I was surprised to find many good moments on this rewatch. I am going to go into a long diatribe here about my negative feelings before I get into the recap. Then, I’ll keep it mostly neutral-to-positive so I’m not harping all the way down.
  In general, I am not a fan of stories in which people are ‘controlled’ or ‘swayed’ or ‘entranced.’  For one, I am always acutely aware of all the Acting going on in any show or film I consume; so, when an actor takes on a cliché sci-fi trope like this, I can’t help but feel a twinge of second-hand embarrassment over the silliness of it all.  That’s a personal taste issue, I understand. Alongside that, a reason it feels silly is because it’s not treated seriously.  Can you imagine being released from mind-control to remember that you had done things you are against?  I know that it’s silly fun that Fitz turned on his friends and locked them in a room; that led to the funniest moment of the episode. But afterwards, we just get some more jokes about men being weak instead of “that must have been weird are you okay?” or even “I told you so, but I’m sorry that happened to you.”  I do NOT want to get into all the implications of what it means that Grant was not fully himself when he slept with Lorelai. But I sure would have loved a brief line of someone checking with him afterward instead just him doing the apologizing for something out of his control.   Also, I’m pretty sure Rooster killed his own wife, but we don’t really get a chance to see any repercussions so that’s just how it goes.
And!  When a viewer asks the question “wait why did the characters make that stupid decision?” and the ONLY reasonable answer is “because it had to happen for the plot to move forward” that’s probably bad writing.  There have been times in this series where I have asked “why?” and have come up with a head-canon that helps me move forward. But for this episode, I cannot think of reasonable answers to “why did they bring two men on the op to capture Lorelai without some sort of plan to combat it?” or “why didn’t super agent Ward shoot Lorelai with the ICER as soon as he saw her?” We just saw him MOMENTS BEFORE practicing his quick draw.  It’s out of character.  
Just like it’s out of character for Simmons to just go with “her magic sways men and only men because men are weak ha ha isn’t that funny” without pushing back or reasoning it out.   That is a trope not limited to sci-fi. It’s not empowering. It’s a line to make us lil ladies feel cool. But if you want to mean it, make it make sense. 
One reason that I stuck with Agents of SHIELD long enough to love it was because they have shown they can bend these kitschy sci-fi tropes to new and interesting directions.  That doesn’t happen here.  Okay EXCEPT that when they are controlled, they still have the same personality.  I liked that detail instead of them just being mindless zombies.  
And on that positive note, there is good stuff here.  This episode has other things: Madame President Benjamin Franklin, Mulan twirling a double-sided sword, father-daughter bonding.     
So, lets dive over to the light side and just enjoy it.

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footnotes are spoilers for future episodes
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Jimmy and Lorelai drive up to Rosie’s Desert Oasis.  While Jimmy is inside, a biker named Rooster approaches Lorelai.  He says ‘whyd you marry that little dude?” Hey I think Jimmy is pretty cute.
She orders Rooster and his biker dudes to serve her.  Jimmy comes out like ‘wah no. me!’ and shes like, ‘ew gross I don’t need you’ and smacks him across the lot.

Skye is alive but aching in the medpod.  Simmons comes in and takes blood and Skye is like ‘wow again?’ Ward approaches to flirt with Skye so we have context to later revelations in this episode.  Ward is mad that Mike didn’t protect her. Skye wants to start training as soon as possible so that she can be better at protecting herself.

Simmons has apparently been taking lots of blood from Skye in order to study it.  Coulson didn’t tell them where the drug came from, but she wants to know what it is. 

Coulson talks to Agent Sitwell in a parking garage. We need to be reminded of him because he’s gonna be in the Captain America movie that’s going to come out in a couple weeks (chronologically).  He doesn’t know where Fury is. He asks Coulson how Tahiti was and Coulson puts shades on and says “it sucked” before driving off in Lola.  Legit smooth.

The rest of the team tracks down an energy surge in the desert.  And wow a giant Asgardian beam shoots down from the sky.  Lady Sif (From the Thor movie) lands in front of them.  She says their world is in grave danger!

Lady Sif is on the Bus. She’s like ‘woah dude youre alive? Thor will be so happy!’ but Coulson says he’d rather tell him himself ^[1]okay it seems so much like they were trying to set up some future film event in which the Avengers learn Coulson is alive. Never happens.  That’s sad. Woulda been cool .  She tells them that Lorelai is a dangerous woman who can sway men to her will. Not women though. 

Rooster has stolen lots of money for Lorelai. She is unfamiliar with paper money or the ‘woman’ on the hundred-dollar bill so Rooster explains that Ben Franklin was president and used to rule this land.  Love that. I can absolutely see a man like Rooster not knowing Franklin wasn’t president. It was a very nice touch.  His wife busts in and is like ‘Duane what are you doing with this random woman who is wearing my clothes?’ and Lorelai orders RoosterDuane to choke out his own wife. Dayum.

Coulson questions Sif about blue aliens.  She lists several but says none of them come to Earth. … sure cool. Nothing to worry about, phil. That torso you found last episode was probably just your imagination.
They find reports of robberies around Death Valley. They track down the robbers to Rosie’s

Fitz shows off a new line of weaponry!  They’re the same type of paralyzing bullets from the night night gun, but theyre not called that anymore. Theyre called ICERs.  They have triple the stopping power.  Nice. ICERs forever.

They approach Rosie’s bar, but the law enforcement on site has already been swayed by Lorelai’s influence. Fight fight fight. Sif enters the bar. Fight fight fight. She’s so strong. And her armor is bulletproof. 

Lorelai slips out and approaches Ward after he beats down Rooster.  He points an ICER at her, but does… not… shoot… one question, ward…. Why you not shoot?  Now of all times?    Anyway, Lorelai enchants him, of course, and they ride off on Rooster’s motorcycle.

Sif has this special collar that is supposed to suppress Lorelai’s powers, but it got damaged at the bar. Fitz is ordered to fix it.    

Simmons asks Coulson to send Skye’s blood to HQ for study.  He says no. She asks why not. He’s like ‘cuz I said so’ and Simmons raises her voice at him and says, “That’s not a good enough reason” dayum girl. She’s really trying it.  Coulson still shuts her down saying Fury kept secrets and we don’t know why so it’s dangerous….. yeah she’s right it doesn’t sound like a great reason. 

Ward took Lorelai to Vegas because she requested a place fit for a queen.  Okay sure Ward. I see what you’re into.  He says he used to have feelings for someone else before her…. Then they get down in a hotel room.
After the act, she tells him she won’t have peace until Sif is out of the picture.  Ward is like, ‘ word. Kill Sif. Got it’

May and Sif are admiring Sif’s double-bladed sword. May gives it a big twirl and looks very cool.  Sif says Lorelai gets a thrill out of controlling men, especially if the man is already taken.  Gross. She’s taken men that Sif loved. Aw. She warns that entranced Ward will not hesitate to kill her.

Fitz tells Sif he fixed Lorelai’s collar. He takes her up to the honeycomb room to inspect it… and locks her in! Wha?   May is like ‘oh yeah… you know what… if I was Ward, I would go after Lady Sif.’ The baddies are on the plane!  Coulson catches on quickly that Fitz has been entranced and he plays along.   I love that Coulson doesn’t hesitate.  There is no “wait what- ohhh uh right… uh I mean”  that one might expect to see in this scene.  He just jumps into action as Fitz is fawning over his new fake love.    

Ward opens up the ceiling of the honeycomb room.  Sif manages to save the magic collar, but she flies out!

Lorelai and Ward stand off against May.  Ward pulls a gun.  Lorelai says “he told me who he desired before me…. It wasn’t you” dammmnn. Okay its skye. Yeah we all got that already.

Coulson frees the girls from where Fitz locked them up in the medpod as Simmons tries to attack Coulson with a fire extinguisher.  Dang that fire extinguisher has become her signature weapon. They open the honeycomb room back up so Sif can climb back in.  Of course she’s not dead! She’s Asgardian!  Fitz sees Simmons on the loose and chases after her, but Coulson knocks him out!  Simmons says “poor Fitz. he’s always getting knocked out, isn’t he.” Which is a fun nearly fourth-wall breaking recognition  (Actually, I want to count the times: Held at knifepoint in ep 2. That doesn’t count. He gets knocked around in a van in ep 4… could’ve been knocked out but we don’t see it. I will count episode 6 because Simmons does bonk him in the head with that trusty weapon of hers, even though he is not out cold. In episode 9, Ward gets knocked out. Fitz absolutely gets knocked out in episode 12 by Seth. In 13, Ward, Coulson, and Simmons get knocked out by the dendrotoxin, and Skye gets nearly dead, but not Fitz. and that’s it.  So including this we’ll say 3 times.  Yeah sure that’s a lot for 15 episodes of television).  

  In the honeycomb room, Lorelai grabs the fancy sword and Sif sneaks up behind her and traps them both in. Fight fight fight.    (look I’m just going to mention once that the Lorelai actress isn’t a very convincing fighter. But I get it, she is just in one episode of a network show.  It did make her fight scenes a bit less cool though). Mayward is having a badass angry tumble (not sexual but definitely sexy, nonetheless) elsewhere on the plane. They are kicking a gun out of each other’s hand. They both end up on the ground and Ward PULLS THE TRIGGER but May had already removed the mag.   In the honeycomb room, Sif slams the collar on Lorelai even as she begs for death over becoming a prisoner. ^[2]alright! So the order in which it is shown in the show is that Sif has completely closed the collar on Lorelai before we cut to Ward pulling the trigger.  I have looked up recaps of this show … Continue reading

Sif departs with Lorelai after telling Coulson it was an honor to fight beside him. Aw thanks, Lady Sif.
May tells Coulson that if he won’t open up to her, he should at least tell Skye the source of the drug.  Oooh she playing him! We’re about to find out in the stinger that May already knows! She just wanted Coulson to tell Skye what he knows so that she can LISTEN IN from the comms and determine just how much he knows. Damn, that’s cold.

May tells Ward to talk to Skye about how he feels.    Guess she’ll be listening in on that conversation as well. Coulson tells Skye the truth.  She’s like ‘okay wild but I’m chill. We’re both alive and that’s pretty sweet. Lets tell our friends’  but Coulson says he still wants to protect the others from the truth.  This was a secret men died for. 
Like May, I do appreciate that Coulson is telling somebody the truth.  We don’t have to worry about when this secret will inevitably get to Skye and cause more inevitable father-daughter tension. And I do believe it is in character for Skye not to be fazed by this.  I was thinking the same thing she ends up saying while he was telling her.

Stinger.
Aight so this is where May is listening in to PhilSkye from the cockpit.  She then dials in to an encrypted line and says, “update log 93 (ninety-three?!?!?!) Coulson knows.”    Wow. Ruh roh.

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