* Name: Natalie June. But is it? Yeah probably
* Eye Color: Hazel
* Ever married? Naw
* Immediate family: mom, dad, sister
side note: If I was the grandson of a Howling Commando, I’d have that tattooed on my chest.
* What’s the difference between an egg and a rock? Egg fragile. Rock not so much
* Heard of Project Insight? Yeah every time I heard it on this damn show, I would google it and be like “oh yeah from Cap2! I never remember that…”
* Have you ever had contact with Alexander Pierce? Well he’s a fictional character so it depends on what you mean by ‘contact’… Like does AO3 count?
* You wash up on a deserted island alone. Sitting on that island is a box. What is in that box? Bunch-o-books. Unlimited supply of books. Bottomless box of bottomless books. A box that’s bigger on the inside, you could say. So like a tardis but it only does one thing – holds books – so nowhere near as cool as the TARDIS.
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“direct quotes look like this”
‘my silly little paraphrasing looks like this’
(tangents look like this)
Footnotes[1]spoiler! are spoilers for future episodes
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Aight here’s the tall guy who Garrett let out of Fridge last episode. He asks a bearded jumpsuit man for a ride to Portland. Bearded guy reasonably says, “no that’s 200 miles out of my way” and lanky dude just kills him… He touches him and drains the life out of him. Okay so slender man straight up sucks.
In the Bus lab, Simmons is patching up Ward. Two cracked ribs! Jeez he legitimately got bashed in by Garrett just to make his fake attack believable. This shows us the lengths he was prepared to go to to keep his cover on the team… (So any nice thing he did for Simmons or friendly nod he gave to Fitz… he was absolutely capable of faking it). Skye says his new scars will make him look badass and dangerous. Okay yeah you’re not wrong there. Fitz is concerned about him aww. Coulson asks for a full account of the Fridge attack. Ward basically tells the truth – Hydra took over and took everything. Though he adds that he killed Garrett on his way out, which is a biiiit of a stretch.
Ward pulls out the Very Important Hard Drive and is all ‘dum dee dum oh yeah no big deal but we should back up this hard drive’ but Coulson jumps in to give Skye a different task. She’s to go through the list of escapees from the Fridge for some risk assessment.
Yeah okay the list is bad. A bunch of dangerous people are out in the wild. Coulson is specifically interested in Marcus Daniels – our slenderman from up top. Dad looks spooked by slenderman and wants to go find him ASAP. But Eric Koenig will not let anyone leave the base! Not until…. They go through Orientation…
Yas Orientation. I love this. Orientation looks awesome and I would’ve volunteered first. Agent Koenig straps you into a comfy-lookin lie-detector chair and pulls out some funky fun conversation starters. Fitz’s only immediate family is his mum – aw. May has been married previously – intrigue. Trip is determined to take down Hydra just like his grandfather the Howling Commando did. Simmons has the best answer to the box on a beach question – the TARDIS. Skye was named Mary Sue Poots at the orphanage. Love that. Bring it back. I really want to know where the last name Poots came from. They all pass nbd. But now it’s Ward’s turn. Ruh roh.
Ward starts tipping off the machine when he’s asked “why are you here?” He tried “it’s my duty” but Eric Koenig doesn’t like the readings and PULLS OUT A GUN. Wha ERIC?! Then, for some reason, Ward decides to lie harder and says “I’m loyal to SHIELD and Coulson” which of course did not help. I feel like Eric should not have brushed off the results of Ward saying “I’m loyal to SHIELD”… you’d think that if that’s a lie, then we got a problem on the base. But I suppose if he thinks the lie is “I’m here because I’m loyal to SHIELD” and the truth is “I’m not here because of SHIELD, I’m here because of Skye” then I can give poor dead Koenig a pass. A poor dead pass.
Marcus Daniels was an assistant at a physics lab where they were trying to harness the electrical power of DarkForce. Cosmic radiation. Pure negative energy. Unstable but powerful. Daniels was exposed. He can absorb all forms of energy and can kill with one touch. They will have to expose him to more energy than he can consume at once. Last time Coulson faced him, they used pure light… Wtf is pure light?
Okay Ward has a lanyard. Whoop… While he hides in the hallway and pulls a treebranch out from under his thumbnail, Fitz approaches to whine about Triplett. Ward can tell Fitz is jealous of Trip getting close with Jemma. Ward basically says, ‘hey hypothetically if you were going to be murdered by a close friend today, is there anything you wish you would have said to your girl Simmons?’ and Fitz is all, ‘Ward you’re acting so wacky!’ so Ward wards up and says, “do what you want. I don’t care” to which Fitz says “good to have you back” Sincerely. And its legitimately sweet and heartbreaking.
Coulson is still Mega Mad at May…. Almost annoyingly mad at May. She’s all “I was following Fury’s orders. That’s our job and you would have done the same thing” and I believe she is correct. But he’s like ‘okay lil soldier, you like orders? Repair the fuel line or fuckin leave!’ (she will do both). mom and dad! Stop fighting! For me!
Coulson, and FitzTrimmons fly out on a quinjet. They’re going to Portland because Daniels was obsessed with a woman there. He called her his “only light in the darkness” and Simmons thinks that’s almost romantic(simmons is wrong btw. It’s not the slightest bit romantic. At worst, it sounds like what it is – a stalker obsessing over a human person who has no say in the matter. At best, it sounds like a sad person who is relying on another human person to be the only good thing in their life – which is still super dangerous. But I get it Jemma, you haven’t seen enough yet…. Just give it a season or two maybe [2]or actually a few episodes could do the trick. I wonder if her best friend confessing his love for her while facing certain death will change her perspective on romance. The woman is Audrey Nathan. We find her. We find slenderman.
Audrey Nathan is running alone in the middle of night. Look I’m not gonna victim blame. I’ve done this. It feels nice to run/bike/walk in the quiet dark. But unfortunately, it’s a prime opportunity to be stalked by a supervillain. Trimmons zooms in and shouts out that they’re with the CIA so Audrey will zoom off with them. Fitz and Coulson show up and point some lights at the dude (the dwarves make an appearance!) trying to overload him with energy, but it doesn’t work! Turns out when he was in the Fridge, he was experimented on to be more powerful! Damn Hydra. (So I really like the portrayal of Marcus Daniels in this episode. His breed of baddie is believable. He’s creepy but almost sympathetic in his desperation… which is off-putting. My favorite moment of his is here when he says “they were trying to make me stronger. And they did” I love the delivery of that line. He looks pleased with himself while still looking tortured.)
At Providence, Skye is still trying to hunt down other escaped super-villains via the internet. Koenig is not helpful. Turns out he has been keeping tabs on everyone around the base by tracking their lanyards (okay minor thing… why does his tracking system start beeping when the Skye drops the lanyard on the ground? It doesn’t start beeping when Koenig’s lanyard is on a dead body smooshed into the ceiling… why is the floor what sets it off?). This gives Skye the idea of hacking the NSA satellites to get a visual of the Fridge raid! Koenig is against it, but Skye gets Ward on to support the idea (…. Why? Let me think. It would still be in character for Ward to say it’s too dangerous, or to wait for Coulson. However, he likely thought that Skye would do whatever she wanted anyway so it wouldn’t matter what he said. And I also figure he was hoping this mission was gonna allow him the opportunity to murder someone. Oh okay yknow what…. This is also a good way to get on Skye’s good side before bringing up the hard drive AGAIN. That’s probably what he’s going for). He suggests getting into the Very Important Hard Drive and Skye says they can’t because it must be decrypted at a specific location. Good thing she doesn’t say where yet. Koenig is impressed by this and says, “impress me more” and gives Skye access to the mainframe for the hack. Aw he’s so cool… oh well
Trimmons is trying to make Audrey feel safe in an abandoned apartment they got into somehow. She knows they are SHIELD because SHIELD agents saved her from Daniels a few years ago. The agent who kept her safe was handsome and kind and they were very close and he was PHILLIP COULSON. She knows she can trust SHIELD because Phil (the hypocrite) “never lied to her”… then she goes on to say he died in the line of duty… And then the living Phil – who is listening in from a room with Fitz – says he will not go talk to her because he’s a hypocrite she’s healing… He, like May, is keeping up the lie to protect someone he cares about!
Fitz says, ‘okay cool now let’s use your lady as bait’
Ward grabs a gun and goes to find May! He doesn’t shoot her as soon as he sees her because he has to make sure she repaired the fuel line. After she confirms this, he reaches for his gun, and she reaches for… a packed bag. Oh she’s leaving! She’s like ‘ I burned my boo and he won’t take me back. Peace.’ Ward doesn’t have to murder this particular person…. So he goes back to Koenig!
In his final moments, Eric Koenig is giddy to be living on the edge – waiting for the NSA sat feed from Skye to come in more clearly… Bye bye, boy. You were a real one.
Audrey is preparing to be bait onstage with her cello, but she is rightly nervous because last time, she had whole teams of agents protecting her from Daniels… and he’s stronger now. Simmons says, “two of our best agents are watching from the control booth” as if that makes up for the lack of “entire teams of agents.”
In the control booth, Fitz is giving some gamma-radiation upgrades to a few stage lights. He asks Coulson why he’s keeping the truth from Audrey. Coulson says it’s because he would just have to leave again and it would only hurt. Fitz says “so it’s not because you are afraid” and it is heavily implied that Fitz himself is afraid to talk to Simmons about his own feelings. ( Sure you could peg them as the obvious will-they-won’t-they couple from the beginning, but there has been no undeniable evidence that any closeness between them was more than friendship until now.)
Providence. Skye sees the NSA feeds on Eric’s monitors, but aw shucks its not showing the breakout at all! I have faith that she would have started adjusting the feeds to see more, but Ward successfully distracts her with the news that May up and left. Skye takes a little trip through Irony when she gets upset that May “never cared for any of us. She just played us.” And Ward assures her he never felt anything for May when they were doing it. And then they finally get that drink they’ve been talking about. Ay ay ay they talk and they get deep. He felt feelings for Skye when she was fighting for her life (because his daddy ordered her to be shot). He talks about how his abusive older brother made him beat up his younger brother. His parents were worse. He warns her that he is a bad person who doesn’t deserve her. Gross. She’s like ‘aw don’t say that baby. You’re like SO good.’ And they make out – UNTIL Skye feels some blood behind his ear. He rushes out to clean up.
Now… we start cutting back and forth between Skye in Providence and Audrey playing a tense and somber melody on the cello. Love this. The drama! Vincent Misiano, you’ve got me paying attention, sir. Here’s how the best series of scenes of the show so far goes down:
Skye sees that Eric’s own lanyard is tracking on his spy tablet and goes to find him.
As Audrey is playing, we look at the back of the auditorium and see a single light flick off in the entryway (so fucking good).
Ward is washing himself and his blood-covered garotte (strangling wire. I googled it) in a sink.
Marcus Daniels steps into the auditorium. He says to Audrey “You’re the one that can save me.” Horrifying.
Ward sees that Skye is no longer in the smooch zone, and panics.
Skye tracks Eric to a closet. A penny falls when she opens the door.
Marcus is smiling to the music. The team gets their light cannons aimed at him.
Skye goes to the exact location of Eric’s lanyard. Blood drips on the tablet (the cello music stops). She looks up to see Eric Koenig’s body shoved above a grate in the ceiling! She sees on the tablet that Ward is walking around the base looking for her and she knows he murdered Eric. Aaahhhhh!!!
FitzTrimmons fires their gamma rays at Daniels. He just looks kind of annoyed and shoves them all back. Phil grabs a light and scoots closer to Daniels to try again. Trip joins in and its enough to make slenderman EXPLODE into darkness tendrils. Audrey is thrown across the stage!
Skye is Freaking Out in the bathroom. Yeah girl. We all did that 2 episodes ago. But you don’t have the luxury of taking an hour to stare blankly at your screen after the reveal. You gotta get moving! She looks around the bathroom for anything to give her an upper hand. She dwells on a fake window… hm
Phil makes sure Audrey is okay, says “I promise I’m still here with you”, and kisses her on the forehead before scooching out. Audrey wakes up to Jemma asking if she is alright.
Ward opens the door to the Dead Body Closet and – goodie! – the penny drops into his hand. Go Skye. She shows up behind him and is playing it very super cool like a professional agent. Yas lady. She says she wants a relationship with him and gives him another kiss. He says he’d love to stay here with her and pretend the outside world doesn’t exist, but aw ding dang they can’t! they have to get to some real important work. He claims Fitz called them for help and they have to head out in the Bus right now no time to grab anything take my hand and don’t ask any questions. Very typical abusive boyfriend behavior.
Coulson’s encounter with Audrey helps him finally finally realize that he needs to make things right with May. And I am savoring this scene of Coulson opening up to Fitz about his personal feelings. Rare and precious moment. Simmons walks in. Coulson knows to leave them alone.
Simmons pressures Fitz to explain why he is antagonistic toward Agent Triplett. He says it’s not Trips fault, pauses, and then says he hates change. Aw. (Okay I have been listening to podcasts recapping these episodes. I am astounded that every single person I listen to slams Fitz for not telling her the truth here. Of course he didn’t! are y’all for real?! This person has been his best friend for 8 years. He just recently started realizing his true feelings for her when she started showing affection toward another man in front of him. It would be an awkward time to bring it up, especially since the feelings seem to be new and Simmons is not showing any signs of reciprocating. Yeah he absolutely could have told her. But I don’t think anyone is required to tell someone how they feel as long as they take ownership of their inaction).
They land and oop. The Bus is gone. Whaaat?
Ward is flying. Did we know he could fly? I don’t know. He says THE TEAM needs Agent Skye to decrypt the hard drive in order to pull the specs for the 0-8-4 which is supposed to help… something. He tells Skye she is in charge and asks for the coordinates. Ooh she has been good at faking it so far, but what about thinking on her feet?! Where will she take him?!
Final stinger.
May is walking along the side of the road until getting into a car that pulls up beside her. It’s her mother! She’s amazing. Melinda called her because she’s the only person left she can trust aw. Her mother hands her something in an envelope that she was able to get because “her agency hasn’t fallen apart”. May says she only wants to talk to the person whose details are in the envelope. Her mother says, “I’ve always liked Maria.” Maria… hmm… Maria maria. Maria Hill! Ahhh.